Sunday, July 5, 2009

surprisingly twitterpaited!!!

OK, so I've never gotten into the whole famous people, celebrity ism stuff. it's just not something i do. i never got too gushy over famous teen crushes, (aside from my diary entries at which i scribbled "val + so-in-so") never swooned too heavy publicly over real boy crushes either. i was pretty much a silent observer and secret admirer throughout my life. I've thought about this and tried to figure out why i was and am this way. while so many of my friends screamed their heads off at concerts and sent out massive advertisements to the world about their crushes, i merely was content to stay at home and listen to the music of the crush or watch the movie starring the crush. was i scared, what would i say to them? I don't know, all i know is that once i had a crush on someone famous, i usually read or heard later of their indiscretions, follies, and faults. No, i was not expecting perfection per say, but i was really disappointed when i would here that they were not who they really pretended to be. i think at an early age, i realized:"why worship some person who is completely as flawed as i am?" what's the point. were they just not worthy of my admiration's anymore? i don't know. but what i DO know is that that all changed for me a few months back.

last May, i had the opportunity to attend a women's' conference in Columbia, S.C. it was a Time Out For Women event. this meant travelling. i carpooled with some local friends and we all travelled up there together, bringing with us our excitement that could only be brought on by our highly anticipated escape from our current responsibilities; A.K.A. our children!
as we were travelling i was talking to one of my friends and she was sharing a recent concert event that she and her husband had attended. she handed over her phone and showed me a picture of an up-and-coming famous man and herself. she was telling me in excited words that she met this famous man and he was awesome. she had been so nervous and gitty around him, that she had trouble remaining a rational, mature woman. she said she felt like a teenager again. she said she had felt twitterpaited! TWITTERPAITED!!!
i said, "wow, i can't believe that you felt like that, your a grown woman!" we laughed about it. i couldn't comprehend what she was feeling, because as i stated before, i don't get that way about famous people who are just people. i didn't know then, but i had just gotten a case of "foot-in-mouth disease."

So there I was, sitting the Time Out For Women event, watching somewhat silently (that means giggling as reverent as possible with my girlfriends), half-heartedly listening to the speaker, when the announcer then steps up to announce the next guest on the program. i knew that this person was going to be in attendance and i was excited, but i had already seen this man at a previous TOFW event two years before. so when i heard the announcement i was happy, but not over excited. "next up will be Kenneth Cope." the announcer had said. yippeee!!!
"i love Kenneth Cope." i whispered to my friend.
"you do? that's great." she said.
"yeah, I've already seen him at an earlier TOFW two years ago, i said. (trying to sound awesome, why?) i love his music. i feel that he has put my testimony of my Savior, to the most beautiful music. it sings to my soul." i went on and on. (could that be gushing...?)
any ways as we sat there listening, OK, truthfully i was SINGING along while he was singing. who was the guest singer here? anyways, my friend then leaned over to me and whispered,
"if you really love his music, you should meet him."
i replied with a suave and confident;
"OK, yeah sure. if he stays after the program I'll go up and shake his hand."
i felt cool. but almost as soon as i had said those words, i began to be suddenly nervous. my hands started to shake, i began to feel sick to my stomach. i leaned over to my friend and said,
"i think I'm actually getting nervous!" i couldn't believe i was getting nervous. i Don't get nervous!!!
she leans into me with a sly smile and asked;"are you twitterpaited, Valerie?" and then she giggled at me. she could already see that i was. i was still in denial however, i said to her;
"no, it's just that his music means so much to me. i have sung it and it has become apart of my own testimony. i feel so close to the spirit when i listen to his music. there had been moments in my life when that music lifted me, taught me, reminded me of who i am, and just made me aware of my Savior in a new light. i am grateful to him for sharing his talents. i just want him to know that. that's what I'll tell him." (that's not twitterpaited...is it?)

she just laughed a little at this and said,
"that's great Valerie, but why are you so nervous to tell him that?"
"i don't know, maybe because it's personal to me to be able to thank him."

this seemed the right answer. yes, i was wanting to thank him. that's all. simple as that. but i couldn't stop the nerves. finally he sang his last song and the program ended.
it was time.

"OK," my friend said, "time to go and meet him before the crowd builds."
with "good lucks" and "well wishes," not to mention a few jabs, from the girls, i headed off to meet the man whose music has meant so much to me.
in line i was rehearsing what I'd say to him. i couldn't think straight. i couldn't remember my own name for crying out loud! when did this happen to me? i have now in an instant become what i had earlier made fun of my friend for being; a teenage gushing girl. it was my turn next. i moved up in the line.
finally he was staring at me waiting for me to speak. this was my brilliant conversation with my music idol:
"hi, I'm sooo nervous and i don't know why." (giggle giggle)
"it's OK, don't be nervous!" (he puts his arm around my waist!)(ahhh!!)
"i have few things to say, first, i love you. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us. your music is beautiful and i feel that you have put my testimony to your music and it has meant so much to me. my husband knows to turn on your music Sunday mornings to set me in a great mood." (he laughs and says, "wow, that's a compliment. i hope your husband's OK with that!")
"second, i want to ask you to sign your autograph, and third would you please let me have a picture of you?"(sheepish grin from ear to ear)(more giggles)
" sure absolutely, I'd love to."
"i don't know why I'm so nervous, I'm sorry, i don't usually get this way." (another embarrassed sheepish grin)
"it's OK, don't worry about it, I'm so thankful to you for sharing with me. i love to meet the people whose' lives i can touch. it makes me feel like I'm doing something important." (he says this while holding me with his arms around me and then signs my program and smiles for a picture!)
"thank you so much, thanks.(i think at this point i was gushing uncontrollably)
"no, thank you. it was so nice to meet you." ( he smiles and waves as my friend is pulling me away. thanks to her for rescuing me from a morbid embarrassment. she could see the signs I'm sure)

i went running back to the girls..."he signed my program with a heart and a smile face AND i got a picture!"

yes, my friend was right, i WAS twitterpaited. so twitterpaited. i had felt like a gushing teenage girl, fumbling over my words. trying with all my might to make and impression and tell him all that he had meant to me, all this in a time limit of two minutes. but i did it! completely trembling, but i did it! it was a silly high for me. i will never forget it. feeling so outside of myself. but it was totally fun. "foot-in-mouth disease" is not easy to swallow, but i had a great friend who knew better than i and was able to laugh with me and make it a most memorable silly moment! i guess there are some people out there are who are still holding some admiration of mine that i hadn't considered in this kind of light before. twitterpaited...hummm....i definitely was, SURPRISINGLY TWITTERPAITED!

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